Thoughts and News about our Adventure!

We arrived safely home almost a week ago...doesn't seem possible that one wk ago was my last night in Haiti. I still feel like I'm processing the trip and all I experienced. I just started working on pictures today and finally feeling rested and ready to make a few comments and final posts that I wasn't able to accomplish in Haiti...and try to recreate my "mess" of symbols on my phone in the Miami airport.

It was a true step in faith for me to go on this mission trip. I was immediately interested when I heard Allan Harvey, a member of our church, speak before leaving with the first group he organized which arrived about 3 wks after the earthquake. I remember saying to myself, "If they go again, I'ld be interested." The man upstairs obviously heard me! On Sunday, March 7, Allan and Mike Morse, the medical director of the group, announced they were returning in about 10 days. I talked w/ them after church and tried to emphasize all my useful qualities without mentioning any medical background...I'm a good worker bee, I'll do whatever is needed, I can organize, etc. I finally admitted I USE to be a PA, but after 25 yrs of only practicing on my children, I was beyond rusty...I was incompetent! Mike hugged me and suggested I come to their meeting about the trip that night at the church.

On the way home from church, fears overwhelmed me and I began to back-pedal. I had thought I would welcome a chance to serve God and help others less fortunate. I had admitted that in our small group at church even. However, I started thinking of all the reasons why I shouldn't go. Is it safe...others are leaving why would I go there? What about HIV? What about my safety among people desperate for food and water? What if my family needed me...the boys, my parents? What if the group expected too much of me and I couldn't help them? I can't function in the medical world anymore! I started crying and spent all afternoon in tears and praying as I was overwhelmed w/ fears.

I called my sister-in-law, Kim, and a friend, Maureen, who are both prayer warriors. "I'm such a coward!", I told Kim. "I thought I would jump at the chance to go and now all I can do is think of the reasons not to go. I need prayer!" I was a mess!

Thankfully, their prayers and mine began to calm me and I decided to give the decision to God. I would be willing to go to Haiti if He wanted me to go. He knew my fears and concerns, but I placed myself in His hands. It was a HUGE step in faith for me!

I cried on the way to the Haiti mission program at church and on the way home that night. However, I signed my name that I would be willing to go if asked. They were leaving in 10 days.

The next morning Mike called and said they were trying to get extra seats on the airplane...if so, I would be going. He said he would call that night and give me the news. No call Monday night and nothing on Tuesday. I decided I must not be going. I even said, "God, I'm willing but guess you are letting me off the hook this time." On Wednesday, I began to get a little prickling feeling that I should contact Mike. "Are you really willing to go and follow me?", I felt the Holy Spirit ask. "If so, call and show you are committed and willing."

I called Mike...extra seats were a No, but a former member who hoped to return was having difficulties working out childcare arrangements. The deadline was that night since malaria preventive had to start the next day for everyone on the trip. Mike would call me that evening...Hummm...not off the hook yet.

I continued to pray and asked for prayer for guidance from my Bible study group and friends. As my small group finished Wednesday night, Mike called at 8:35. "You're up", he said, and I committed to go. I gave a thumbs-up to Roy Thomas in my small group, said a silent prayer to God, and discussed arrangements with Mike. Oh, help me, sweet Jesus!

With barely 7 days, I began to make arrangements to leave town while enjoying Michael's time home from VT for spring break...board the pets, stop mail/paper, appt w/ Travel Health on Friday for immunizations and malaria preventive (had to get 1st dose from Mike for Thursday), reschedule appts, finish taxes, give schedules to family members, search for donation of supplies and pick those up and deliver to Allan for packing, find and buy scrubs...find scrubs I liked better and buy those (I'll return others later!), spend an hour in Target searching for fragrance-free lotions, shampoo, soap, etc., lay out all the stuff I need to take...and delete and delete some more, create a blog, create an email list to notify about the blog, breakfast w/ friends, and my stethoscope tubing had dry-rotted! Michael tried to help me pack everything in his old backpack but finally I purchased a larger one. And the questions...mosquito netting or not, sock liners or not, how many batteries, measure and remeasure since maximum for carry-on is 45 inches. I had 10 hours of sleep in 3 nights, but on Thursday morning at 4:30 AM, I was ready and willing to go where God was leading me.